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The Real GOOD Loser, A Story That Could…
Chapter Twenty-Two: Three Young Men
“In time, you will know what it is like to lose.”
—from the film Avengers: Infinity War
Thirteen point eight billion years ago, in a computer lab before time, two Engineers were in fierce competition with one another. One, named Alya, had a creation that far surpassed the others, though you’d call it more of a simulation than a creation. As the competition was ending the other Engineer, named Lucifer, became overwhelmed with jealousy. Facing inevitable defeat, Lucifer snuck onto Alya’s computer and punched two buttons: X followed by the number 2. By pressing these buttons in combination, Lucifer added an element into Alya’s DNA creation that would infect it with something called “deceit”… forever sabotaging the experiment.
It is now the second week of January and classes are still remote. Knowing that next week ends semester two—marking the end of my tenure at this school—there was one more lesson I wanted to do with these students before we ran out of time. Lily is sitting in on this class today as well; her pretty face has its own cube on the screen in front of me.
“Pras, that thinking like that is why this world is going to hell!”
Lauryn interrupts Pras in the middle of a sentence. Yesterday I had given my students this short story to read and try and make sense of in their journals overnight. Lauryn—who is openly passionate about her religion—gets upset with what Pras wrote about it.
I had avoided conversations like this in class up until now, but with this world “going to hell”, like Lauryn just said, I could not, in good conscious avoid it completely. When I provided this story I purposely intended to spark the debate Lauryn and Pras are having now. Knowing this, I secretly congratulate myself on a job well done.
Here in the United States, we say there is a separation of church and state, but once again, those are just words.
On one of my walks recently, I made a mental joke that the separation of church and state is about five feet; for that was the distance between two flags on a porch I walked by. One said: Jesus Saves Lives. The other: Trump 2020.
“It’s hard to stay positive when students are telling you to go f yourself all the time.”
That’s what I said in this bible study I was attending a while back. I did not however edit myself as I remember the pastor attending our meeting saying using profanity in a chapel setting was inappropriate after I spoke. He said it nicely to the group of men around me, and used another word besides inappropriate I can’t remember. He tried his hardest to say it nicely. I still felt attacked of course…and stupid…as usual.
Attending those meetings was a consequence of trying to find my faith again after leaving that halfway house. I had gone to this hip new church that was held in the auditorium of my local high school. My first day there I sat in the audience when Pastor Emy pointed into the dark pit of people looking up at him on stage.
“You there,” he said, “that purpose you have…it’s right. You are meant to be here today!”
When this young good-looking Puerto Rican pastor said this, and pointed his finger into that crowd, he didn’t know I was there, or that it was my first time going to hear his inspirational preaching, but I swear he pointed directly at me. It was weird in the best way possible.
You motherf***er —I remember my inner cynic thinking sitting there—you got me.
I’m not a big fan of organized religion these days for many reasons. I did however become a big fan of David’s. After Pastor Emy’s service, I got in my car and realized my wallet was missing. I had a lot of cash in it that day for some reason.
“Wow…” David said to me with a chuckle, “look at that.” Reaching between two seats David grabbed my wallet and handed it to me it like it was a gift from God. “What are the chances?” he said with that infectious smile of his; not a dollar had been taken from it.
“You know Jose,” he added in fatherly fashion, “Maybe this was meant to be? Would you be interested in joining a men’s bible study I have at my house on Thursday evenings?”
That’s how my bible study experience first began.
David was once a principal at that same school where Pastor Emy was having his service. To me David represents everything that is good about religion. He had a near death experience and says he had a vision that he interpreted as a reason to bring God’s love into the world.
After that near death experience, David created a chapel in his garage and held those bible meetings I attended. His chapel was beautiful. David carved bible verses onto pieces of wood and hung them everywhere. He gave me one that hangs at my parents’ now.
“So, don’t grow tired of doing what is good,” it reads. “Don’t get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time.” I look that bible verse carved into that piece of wood every day.
David hung Christmas lights in his chapel and played religious music on a big screen before and during meetings. Having a mind like mine, that chapel was perfect.
Music like Reckless Love by Cory Asbury would play and I’d just listen to other people talk and look around at those bible verses on the wall. About ten men attended regularly. I was by far the youngest of the bunch. I’m not often comfortable around adults, and those men made me feel safe…for a while at least.
That day I spoke and used the f-word was sort of the beginning of the end of me attending those meetings.
Shortly after I stupidly used the f-word that day, I shared something I had written with someone in the group who said he knew a literary agent that might be able to help me get published someday. At the following week’s meeting, I watched that man casually hold up his bible and say, “The only book a person needs is this.”
When he said that I felt attacked. And stupid. Again. He was super nice really but never talked to me about my writing or that agent he said he knew.
David had this fear of inviting “false prophets” into his chapel and so I began to feel like I was disrespecting him by being there. I imagined that was why that man didn’t like my writing so much. I wrote like I had information people needed—Who the hell was I? … Some sort of false prophet?
While I enjoyed the company of those men, I always felt guilty for possessing a mind that made me incapable of believing like they did. The final straw for me occurred the day a new member of the group was asked by David, “What brought you to Jesus?”
In response to that question that man told the group that during a hard time in his life he opened the bible and read that homosexuality was an abomination. Why that brought this man to Jesus he didn’t say.
The men around me didn’t celebrate his words but stayed respectfully quiet. I remember that man kept a phone earpiece in his ear during the meeting. When that ear-pieced-visitor got the men around me talking politics is when I decided I’d had enough. The answer I was looking for wasn’t there, I thought—or maybe it was?
Sirena and I used to attend a more traditional church semi-regularly. On the rare occasion I bring our son to that church now, I’ll get communion and think this pastor isn’t the biggest fan of mine. Sirena is more involved in that church today and so I can only imagine what he thinks of me. I know I’m sensitive, but I am also very good at reading people…that pastor barely looks at me.
Bringing my focus back to the computer in front of me—and this heated conversation happening between Lauryn and Pras—I decide it’s time for me to speak.
“Alright guys,” I interrupt. “I want to read you an excerpt from a book that might explain why discussing religion is avoided in school.”
With the student’s attention on me, I read to them from an excerpt I wrote down from the book titled a Brief History of Religion by Richard Holloway.
“It is obvious from our history that humans are good at hating each other. And it is usually those that differ from us in some way who become the objects of our hatred. Race, class, color, sex, politics, even hair color can prompt ugly behavior in us, so can religion. In fact, religious hatred is probably the deadliest form of this human disease because it gives humans’ dislike divine justification. It is one thing to hate people because you don’t like their opinions, it is another thing to say God hates them too and wants them exterminated.”
I look up at the faces on screen. “Like most everything you’ve read this year, I wrote that short story I gave you last night as well. Now I’ll tell you why I wrote it…. You all know I’ve been divorced twice correct?”
“Third times the charm!” Nel chirps in quickly.
No one laughs at Nel’s comment. Looking at Pras and Lauryn, I can see that both of them are still upset over their heated debate. Seeing Lily in her cube I feel myself get excited for where I’m about to take this lecture.
“The truth is,” I say slowly to the irritated silence, “I wrote that short story hoping the world might one day discover my second ex-wife…X-2…was a deceitful…b-word.”
“Yo!” says a laughing Nel, “You’re a funny man Mr. J!”
“No—he’s a jerk,” Lauryn says; not laughing.
Pras is quiet but I see him smile some. He might again be wondering what exactly is wrong with me.
Noticing Lily has disappeared from her cube on screen, my phone lights up with a message from her: a Cry-Laughing-Emoji, followed by three red hearts, followed by two more Cry-Laughing-Emojis.
Lily sneaks back into her cube on the computer screen in front of me. Her smiling face does not go unnoticed.
“Miss Lily,” Lauryn says sounding annoyed, “Don’t encourage him!”
It is not what I said about my ex-wife that Lauryn is upset about. She’s upset I let her argue with Pras over something that now seems irrelevant.
“You’re really a jerk Mr. J,” Lauryn adds.
“I’m sorry Lauryn, but that was funny,” Lily says. “Are you really gonna call Mr. J a jerk for making us laugh?”
“Yup,” Lauryn responds; smirking now, “I am.”
Now that I’ve gotten my students attention, I prepare to present the lesson this class was designed to teach.
“How many of you want revenge?” I ask the faces on screen. “To get back at those that have wronged you…To show the world that you were right, and they were wrong…That they stink, and you don’t?”
Saying this, I stop for only a second and focus on Lily. Her face is encouraging as I move forward.
“I wrote that story on my computer in the middle of the night a few months ago. When I wrote it I was sad and angry—a dangerous mixture of emotions to bring online with you. My wife divorcing me hurt because it wasn’t what I wanted, and for a long time I dreamt of getting her back… lately I’ve been wanting to get her back in a different way.”
This was a speech I had envisioned giving for a while but was unsure I ever would. I continue speaking calmly and honestly.
“Trauma from all kinds of failed relationships is most always a two-way street. Expressing frustration over them on social media only makes it worse and passes that hurt and pain onto innocent bystanders most of time.”
I stop talking for a moment; imagining I might be attacking some of these faces looking back at me now. Lily knows what I think about breakups and how more has to be done about processing them in a healthy manner in school. Thinking this I continue talking.
“I think we are living in an era that is proving kids can learn to hate a lot easier than can they learn to love. But I’ve found losing always creates opportunities in life and want you to remember that to really win in this world you’ll need to become really good at losing…”
Grabbing a piece of paper off my desk, I am about to show them what is written on it when Nel interrupts me from his cube on screen.
“Not to be a jerk Mr. J,” he says, “but that’s Teachers’-Talk. Who wants to become really good at losing?”
The other faces on screen appear to recognize the rudeness of Nel’s interruption. I let the silence speak for me and watch Nel look unsure of himself for once.
“You have to learn to cheer for other people, if you want them to cheer for you someday.”
Something I say to my boys comes to me—Should I say this to Nel now? Eyeing Pras; still quiet from his argument with Lauryn, I decide to put my prepared lesson aside as I get an idea on where to take this conversation with Nel.
Placing this piece of paper in my hand back down on my desk, the acronym I wrote on it looks up at me: P.R.I.D.E.= Poor Ride Into Darkness (for) Everyone.
“Nel,” I begin, “Did your President lose this year’s election?”
Nel does not hide his love for Donald Trump. He is the loud opinionated voice I’ve been respectfully listening to ever since that debate where this president referenced the size of his hands as a testament to his manhood. I’ve run into a lot of Nel’s and have been quiet long enough I figure.
“That’s really nothing we know for certain Mr. J,” Nel replies diplomatically to my question about the election.
“Bullshit Nel!” I say theatrically. “He lost. As far as votes are concerned—he did. I don’t care what your president is telling you.”
Nel stays silent and I find myself wondering if that attack was just a bit too real. I quickly decide to ask another question in a lot less aggressive tone.
“Seriously though…Do you really think him losing this election with everything going on was a bad thing?”
“We need him,” Nel says quickly finding his confidence again. “Things will just get worse now.”
“I was just messing with you to make a point Nel. I’m serious about him losing being a good thing though…You’re gonna see Trump did himself a favor not winning this election.”
“He’s a narcissist, Mr. J.” —Pras walks into the conversation before Nel can respond— “He wants to win no matter what.”
“Name calling Pras,” I say calmly. “Even if he is that you don’t change someone like that with name calling…you create something they want and make them change to be wanted again.”
As I talk to Pras my mind is not thinking about the same person he is. I’m thinking about Sirena. As far as narcissist go, Lily said the other day referring to her, she deserves an award.
“He’ll never change Mr. J,” Pras says sounding disgusted.
“Why would he?” I ask continuing to stay calm. “He’s loved for acting the way he does. Most people who don’t like him never will…if he changes he’ll only lose support.”
“If we forced you to Mr. J,” —Lily says; surprisingly jumping into our conversation— “Who would you blame for things beings so bad right now?”
I laugh a response. “That’s easy,” I say, “not a person at all…the stock market. Like that Wolf of Wall Street movie says…It’s a bunch of fagoosy—pixy dust…”
I stop to make that funny whistling sound Matthew McConaughey’s character makes in that movie.
“Seriously though, the stock market created a reality impossible to sustain. A trillion-dollar deficit built it in many ways. It built our universities…our corporations…our billionaires. Pointing fingers at people will only create division though and be used to exploit us more.”
Saying this, my eyes focus on Nel. As a Trumper he’s quick to point fingers. At this moment however, he seems to be listening to me and so I continue telling him how I really feel about this.
“The stock market is not the same one that took care of my grandfather. It’s a casino now. With options trading and hedge funds, people win at the expense of others. We’re fighting to keep something looking good that is destine for a ‘reset’—that’s the word I heard someone use on Facebook the other day. A ‘financial reconning’ I’d maybe call it. War has prevented this in the past more than once though; and with my kids getting to that fighting age, that’s what I’m most concerned about honestly.”
I stop talking as I see a now overly attentive group of faces looking back at me.
Feeling suddenly uncomfortable, I realize unloading these opinions on them is not fair. I shouldn’t have used that word reset…or reckoning…and I definitely shouldn’t have said that thing about war. What do I know about war—I’m just feeding fear.
“This is nothing new, I’ve learned not to worry.”
Something my mother likes to say plays in my head. With the stock market being so volatile these days she says this a lot. I think she’s wrong though. We’ve never lived through a depression like there was a hundred years ago and to me it appears we are repeating those same mistakes from that time in history.
Thinking this, but not saying it, I smile at the now overly attentive group on screen—Take the crazy down a notch Biff, I mentally tell myself before beginning again.
“You gotta remember where I come from Lily. To me, anyone saying they know what will happen is lying. To us or themselves. They might believe what they say, or they might be doing it for attention. Either way…no one can predict the future.”
Saying this, I think of the ending to my story I’ve started working on: We can’t predict the future —I tell myself— but we can try and create it…
*
Article Title: Three Young Men
Dated: Friday, January 15th, 2021
“Through greatness and discipline, we are the masters of our fate.”
—from the film Edge of Tomorrow
Earlier this week we joked about what would happen if I ever became a successful author with this book I’m hoping to write now that I won’t have a job. While Lauryn claims I’m too old to make it big, I’ve decided to play with your minds some and imagine a world in which she has been proven shockingly wrong.
In this future world, Tom Brady and I are great friends. I’ve stopped my midnight snacking and Tom has put me on his TB12 diet and set me up with his doctors. My age has become irrelevant. Sorry Lauryn…but welcome to My World.
—3—
—2—
—1—
—Action—
…..
In a galaxy far-far away, Three Young Men: The Joker, The Believer, And The Thinker, lay in front of their screens preparing to watch their favorite show: THE SUNDAY ROAST—A JoJo Enterprise Production.
“Hello everyone, today’s date is Tuesday, February 22nd, 2050. I am your host Brett Fever, speaking to you live from Ernest’s Maple Barn in Ashburnham, Massachusetts. Thank you for tuning into this special edition of our show as we prepare for tonight’s celebration.”
Sitting in a simple chair in front of a large window, the pony-tailed host crosses his legs, adjusts his glasses, and then continues to speak to The Three Young Men through their screens.
“’Each of us can do something to make this world just a little bit better—our energy is measurable and connects us across time.’ Tonight’s Mind Molder is famous for muttering these words.”
A picture of Jose Julian appears on the top right of the screen. Wearing a V-neck t-shirt, his graying hair and handsome face is unmistakable to those watching.
“For those following along on J-Chat—where common decency and reliable add-free information is worth a small fee—we have something special in store for you to participate in during today’s show thanks to our friends at Wikipedia(dot)com. But first let us get The Disclaimers out of the way…shall we.”
Out of all the show’s segments, The Disclaimers is The Joker’s favorite part…he leans in mischievously to watch.
“The show you are about to watch has two primary objectives,” Brett Fever can be heard reading the shows disclaimers now appearing on screen. “One. To entertain you. And two. To sell you stuff. What you will see and hear is extremely biased and influenced by our own selfish agendas. Like always, we encourage you to investigate things independently.”
Brett’s smiling face appears again.
“With those disclaimers out of the way, today’s Sunday Roast is brought to you by The Extender: Encouraging you to stay the person you were meant to be!”
A scene from an Austin Powers movie replaces Brett on screen.
In this scene Austin is pretending not to know why a Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger was in his suitcase. The Joker giggles louder than the other two young men as a commercial for ‘The Extender’—a miracle vaccine fighting the effects of dementia—continues.
“People had refused vaccines for many reasons in the 20’s,” the Narrator for this commercial says. “Both good and bad. Today fighting over those choices has subsided. We only want to help you stay you…but if that’s not your bag, baby…then that’s just fine with us.”
The scene from that movie is replaced by a cartoon skit showing Joe Rogan interviewing Aaron Rodgers and Kanye West; two of the more outspoken anti-vacs critics from the early 20’s. After some talking, a mustached man painted red from head to toe, rushes from offstage and attacks the camera filming with a MyPillow.
That commercial concludes with that mustached man yelling the word “Traitors!” repeatedly. As that commercial fades to black, the words “Breaking Knews” fill the screen. A YouTube video then begins to play; the title reads: Black Sails—True Victory.
This is The Believer’s favorite part of the show…he leans in excitedly to watch.
The three-minute YouTube video is followed by a scene from the 1953 film The War of the Worlds. The fear expressed by the actors on screen might appear laughable to some, but to The Believer watching, this fear, though ancient looking, speaks to him. This Believer worries about what is out in the vastness of space. The idea that a far-off civilization will one day come, and attack, makes perfect sense to this imaginative mind.
Once that scene ends a montage of films displaying the end of the world appears as a rolodex on screen. A scene from 1983 television film The Day After, is replaced by Will Smith in the 1996 film Independence Day, which is then replaced by a scene showing Ben Affleck in the 1998 film Armageddon.
As the pages of this rolodex turn, the viewer is taken through Hollywood’s many attempts at entertaining minds with the belief that a catastrophic end to the world was imminent.
The rolodex disappears and is replaced by Griff-F; the host of this segment.
“Today’s guest,” Griff begins, “is joining us from The Dream Rehabilitation Center at JoJo University. A school that continues to be both celebrated and criticized for its ideas on how to get the most out if it’s students.”
A video showing this school’s campus plays as Griff-F narrates.
“Creating Creative Compliments is a requirement for first-year students here. This school will force you to sit in a chair and make you do absolutely nothing. ‘Exercises of the mind to help you breathe and think clearly,’ the course outline says. ‘Undistracted minds can learn to let go of anxiety, worry, and fear. We must learn to sit in silence to maximize our potential.’”
Griff-F appears again.
“Sitting in silence…Is that really a lost skill? Or even a necessary skill at that? What about watching television together? Is that really something that should be done in a classroom? These questions continue to be debated today amongst academics and fools. Nevertheless, there is no questioning this school’s production of wonderful human beings— Like our guest today…Tia-B.”
The screen splits. Griff-F is now on the left and Tia-B is on the right. Below Tia-B reads: Professor at JoJo University, Traffic Specialist/Infrastructure.
“Tia,” Griff says from his cube on screen, “could you please remind our audience what the word Apocalypse is taught to mean at JoJo University?”
Tia-B is wearing a t-shirt with the word ‘Apocalypse’ written across its front. She smiles big at this question and turns around so the audience can see the back of the shirt she is wearing: “An Awakening Period for ALL of Humanity,” it reads.
A discussion on screen takes place about the upcoming music festival to be held at The Dream Rehabilitation Center this summer. “The Raffle” is happening tonight. Listening to this being talked about on screen, The Believer smiles to himself… imagining that Golden Ticket in his hand.
This segment ends and the viewer is magically transported to a beautiful modern-day city for this show’s main event called “Mind-Molders” where society-shaping entertainment is discussed.
This is The Thinker’s favorite part of the show…he leans in attentively to watch.
In front of a tall building appears a makeshift living room set within a rock garden. Three chairs sit a few feet apart from one another. Sitting in them are the hosts of this segment: Lainie, Evelyn, and Brodie.
Lainie speaks into the camera first.
“It’s a family affair here today,” she says—The camera zooms in on the baby in the carriage beside her— “as I have little Ellie here with me in the heart of Detroit, Michigan to discuss the life of Jose Julian with you.”
Evelyn takes over.
“This city is beautiful,” she begins, “but not as beautiful as its people…who will tell you this city came to life after appearing in this book.” —Evelyn holds up a book with a cover that is well known to the audience watching— “This book helped readers connect dots as to what was happening in our world and why. This book is considered many things to many people, but ultimately it’s a book about perception that will transcend consciousness on this planet for centuries to come.
“This book gave birth to a new genre of story entirely. T.I.R.F. we called it: Transformative Inspirational Realistic Fiction. People would use this book as a blueprint to have their own stories told. Creating a new industry for story tellers and sparking what is considered now as The New Golden Age Of Entertainment.”
Brodie takes over.
“Entertainment was always used to tell stories,” he begins. “Sometimes it tried to teach us a lesson or two, but then this Mind Molder showed up and challenged it to create a future.”
Brodie stops to smile at the idea.
“There was an old saying in American business,” he continues. “’People need to fear you if you want them to work for you.’ Jose Julian would build an empire by changing just two words in that sentence, claiming: ‘People need to adore you if you want them to work with you.’
“‘The world needs more unifiers not vilifiers,’ Jeff Bezos said awarding this Mind Molder his 100-million-dollar Courage And Civility Award. Eventually flooded with so much private capital, the only limit to realizing his dreams would become his imagination. This Mind Molder used some of that money to create a show based on his book that would show the world what education in this country could become.
“Sprinkled with conflict and humor, that show entertained us year after year; sewing up wounds that had been dividing us. And keeping us addicted to it by pumping into our veins something that had been missing for far too long…Hope for the future.”
Inspired by what this one Mind Molder accomplished, The Three Young Men continue to watch this show and dream of what they might one day accomplish themselves…
WEEKLY QUESTION FOR REFLECTION:
Which one word describes you most: A Joker, A Believer, or A Thinker? For this exercise choose one. In your journal explain why you chose your word.
The Teacher’s Playlist:
Believer featuring Lil Wayne
“I’m fired up and tired of the way that things have been.”
*
(End Chapter 22)
Recovery High School 