Listen to chapter audio by clicking play above… Listen and Read at the same time to improve your “focusing fortitude” :0) Pictures related to chapter can be found by scrolling to bottom of this page. Enjoy the ride…
The Real GOOD Loser, A Story That Could…
Chapter 5: REMARKable
“You ever think about that? … Like your whole life has been building towards something.”
—from the film Truman Show
*
“You didn’t really think you were a descendent of a pirate Mr. J did you?”
My students and I made it through our first week of Remote Learning. It is now Monday, the start of our second week, and we are discussing the 1% Pirate article I asked them to read and reflect on over the weekend.
“Does it matter?” I ask Nel’s face on the computer screen in front of me.
“F*** yeah it does.”
Lauryn is with us as well. She introduces herself in pure Lauryn fashion. Appearing in a box to the left of Nel, her eyes look at me for a real answer. “There’s no way that really happened,” she adds unbelievingly.
The first lesson of this class has just been placed on a t for me, and I find myself feeling a bit like Barry Bonds preparing to knock one out of the park. “All stories are sprinkled with truth Lauryn,” I say simply, “this one included.”
“Did you really think someone could have pirate genealogy though?”
Not letting it go, Pras jumps into the conversation from his cube on screen. Seeing his uncertain face makes me think of what Principal Sam must have thought of my article— How strange I must appear to people that don’t’ know me.
“Why not?” I ask Pras. “If someone had great-great-great-grandparents that were pirates, couldn’t that person say they were a descendant of a pirate?”
“They shouldn’t,” Pras replies flatly. “Being a pirate tells you nothing about a person’s ethnicity.”
Pras is very intelligent. There are all types of intelligence, but I’d call him book smart.
I watched the students call him “Urkel” after Steve Urkel from that show Family Matters back in January; when I first started at the school. I thought they were being mean, but after just one week with him I question if I was wrong about what they meant by using that name on him.
That show, Family Matters, played on TGIF when I was kid; Thank God It’s Friday. That was in the 90’s when things seemed a little less complicated than they are now. Before society became super critical of the shows it found entertaining, and before many of these shows felt it necessary to throw every narrative and or demographic at us for one reason or another.
Watching an episode of that show recently I forgot Steve Urkel had an alter ego; Stefan Urquelle. There was more to that than I realized as a kid. Since the day I heard Pras called “Urkel” I’ve been unable to shake the image of that character when he talks to me.
Yes, Pras is black. And yes, I see color— Does thinking of him as “Urkel” make me a bad person?
I use the word black if the word helps someone understand. I understand there are all shades of black, like there are all shades of white. I’m careful with the words I use on people but that has become another exhausting element of living in this reality; where we have become super sensitive to words.
This was a topic of discussion in class last week. Over the summer my boys had gone to the skatepark without me. When they got home they were trying to tell me about this boy who was doing some cool tricks.
“He said he knows you dad. He said you talked to him.” My boys were sidestepping around their description of this boy and so I eventually had to ask the question. “Are you talking about the skinny black boy with wild hair?”
I knew why they didn’t describe this boy that way to me. When I said that, all three of them looked at me like I just said something that might get me in trouble. Sharing that story with Pras last week he didn’t get offended. “These are confusing times Mr. J,” is what he said. In that moment I knew he and I would get along.
I started that discussion by telling these students about the fight my boys witnessed at that skatepark; when one boy called another a “worm”. I asked these students what that word meant exactly. They gave me their interpretations and we discussed how sensitive we’ve become to the words used against us today.
“It’s not an attack any of you personally,” I said, “us adults are no better.”
Pras has a curious mind. He’s interested in how the world works. Which explains some of why he’s having a hard time believing that a teacher could really believe he was 1 % Pirate.
I labeled Pras an “active participator” in my mind when for an icebreaker our first day I asked these students to think of an idea that might change the world someday. That exercise was like pulling teeth mostly, but Pras willfully volunteered his idea of a computer touchscreen replacing all school-desks someday: “Someone will make themself a lot of money with this invention,” he said sharing his idea.
To that comment from Pras, Lauryn said, “If its gonna make money someone in the Triangle of Power is already working on it.” She then went on a rant, telling us that these triangle people were “Pure Evil”.
That icebreaker didn’t have these students talking about ideas that could change the world, but about this Triangle of Power stuff instead. Sharing with them my opinion that there are few purely evil people in the world, Nel told me: “Oh, I could teach you some shit Mr. J.”
“Pras…do you think I’m stupid?”
Pras looks at me a bit uncomfortably from his cube on screen. “No,” he answers, “not at all.”
“If you asked my family they’d tell you I’m not stupid Pras, but they might also tell you I’m extremely gullible. And being gullible has made me look pretty stupid to them over the years—”
I can’t explain to these students on screen how true this statement is. Not in any reasonable amount of time that is. Just saying the words has a highlight reel of stupid things I’ve done in the past playing in my head.
For some reason my mind remembers that time with the remote control…
My grandparents would have the entire family over for Sunday dinners when I was kid. This was my mother’s side of the family; The Prices. We called them our Sunday Roasts because would often have roast beef for dinner.
At one of those dinners, at the age of eleven maybe, I showed off my ability to change the channel on the television…with my butt.
As I remember it the audience in the living room watched as I placed the remote vertically between my cheeks. The comfy pair of MC-Hammer pants I was wearing allowed me to get a nice secure grip on it. With that remote in position, I flexed, and incredibly my butt brought us to a channel of its choosing.
Enjoying the attention in the room, I discovered how to move the channel up or down depending on a careful positioning of the remote.
“Up!” I said and flexed simultaneously. The channel moved up one. “Up! … Up!” I grunted. Flexing twice the channel moved up two times. Speaking louder, I started showing off. “Up… down… up— up…down—down…up-up….UP!!!”
On that last one I grunted extra hard and kept my cheeks flexed so we could all watch the television scroll through a bunch of channels. Eventually my cheeks ached, and everyone had to catch their breath as laughing so hard became exhausting…as I remember it.
When my dad shares that story he says I asked for numbers to press on that remote. I’m certain he added that part—Obviously my butt couldn’t hit individual digits, dad. Later I found out he was in the back of the room with a different remote; a remote he had rushed off to grab when I first started my little show in the living room.
Thinking I was in control of changing those channels as a kid was rather foretelling. As believing I was in control of events in this world would continue to have me looking rather stupid well into adulthood.
Those family gatherings don’t happen much anymore. Even before this pandemic they had become fewer and fewer. I blame it on a world where the safe and fun things we have to talk about have become fewer and fewer. Getting together for birthdays, and weddings, and baby-stuff is good and all, but I don’t think this trend changes until there’s something exciting for us to get together and talk about. Right now, that seems unlikely.
Trying to further convince these students in front of me of my stupidity seems unwise at the moment, and so I choose to edit some of what I tell them. Gathering my thoughts I continue to feed them pieces of truth.
“When I heard my father say that pirate thing I did believe it Pras…because why shouldn’t I have? But the whole Facebook thing was made up. I needed to entertain you with a story to get your attention.”
These students and I talk about my pirate article a bit longer and eventually it turns into a discussion about the value of humor in education. Nel finds himself excited. “Mr. J!” he says, “You gotta watch Dave Chappelle. He gets it. He’s a genius…No joke!”
I laugh at Nel’s enthusiasm because the person he is referring to will always sort of be a funny pothead from the movie Half-Baked I liked when I was in college. This man’s stand-up act has been suggested to me before though, and so I tell Nel I’ll watch it. Having done so, I then ask the question that will help us transition into this week’s topic.
“Does anyone here watch the news every day?”
When I was planning my curriculum over the summer I knew I’d have to address this news stuff and wanted to get it out of the way early on. These students on screen take turns telling me they “get” the news every day, but no one can say they “watch” the news every day.
After a short discussion about where they get their news, I ask why they don’t actually watch the news on television in the morning or at night like some of us adults do. According to them, watching the news is “Boring”. Also: Depressing—Upsetting—Sad—Scary—Stupid—Divisive—Manipulative.
A list describing the news becomes a separate document appearing on our computer screens.
Minimizing their list, I click a button on my computer that brings up the outline for the week ahead. I then read aloud what is written across its top: “This week we will discuss how fortunate we are to have so much news at our fingertips today.”
Hearing me say this I see Lauryn make a face from her cube on screen. “And yes Lauryn,” I say knowingly, “we will talk about the negative impacts of so much news as well.”
Lauryn smiles, staying respectfully silent, and lets me continue to share my prepared outline with them.
- Tuesday: THE HISTORY OF THE NEWS: An investigation into how societies got their news over time…The Untold History.
- Wednesday: WORLD NEWS: An honest attempt to find reputable information about what is really going on over there. With a look into Sensationalism and “The Dynamics of Distortion”.
- Thursday: NEWS AND ENTERTAINMENT: How to recognize the difference and tips on how to “Filter-Out The Truth”.
- Friday: NEWS TODAY: A conversation about the pros and cons of so much information. Are we really blessed with a wealth of knowledge today?
- Today, Monday: Students are required to submit a one-page reflection on the following writing prompt…
Many argue the greatest weapon is not a gun or a bomb today, but the ability to manipulate information…that to control the world’s information is to manipulate the minds that consume it.
Do you agree with this statement? Why or why not?
Overall, the second week of this Covid disrupted school year went much better than I expected. Getting students to participate in anything is difficult, but they surprised me. Posting my article titled REMARKable for them to read and reflect on over the weekend, I turn from my desk to see my three boys sitting on the couch across the room.
I told them I needed a few minutes of quiet time to finish up my work and so they’re watching the show Ridiculousness together. Knowing I have a loud weekend ahead of me with them, I take a minute to appreciate the quiet and watch this show from a distance.
At my grandparents’ Sunday dinners, we would watch America’s Funniest Home Videos as a family. This show might be that shows natural evolution. Another show where we get to watch and laugh at stupid and funny behavior caught on camera.
This show protects itself from lawsuits with what I think is a laughable disclaimer they display before it begins.
WARNING:
The activities in this show are dangerous and could lead to serious injury. Do not attempt any stunt or activity in this show. MTV and the Producers insist that no one submit any video of themselves or others performing any dangerous activities. We will not open or view them.
The creator of this show, Rob Dyrdek, reads this warning that appears above a white silhouette of a person falling off their skateboard onto their head I think. I’ve watched this show so many times I know it by heart.
I find this warning genius and awful at the same time. It pushes the blame of our crumbling society down the line to someone like Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg; who doesn’t have a warning like that on his social media platform—I bet someday he might want to.
I imagine a future where billionaire Mark sues super multi-millionaire Rob for punitive damages. For our entertainment, talking heads on television ask us: Who is to blame for the harm social media has done to our kids?
The internet and our phones let us participate in one giant Jerry Springer episode. From the comfort of our couches, we get to play the role of Judge Judy and spit our verdicts into the black hole of opinions.
A loud giggle coming from the television interrupts my thoughts. I take my eyes off the television and look at my boys to see if they’re giggling along. Looking at them I again realize that this blame game we love to play will have no winners…this world we are living in now is proof.
Somehow we must stop playing the game altogether. And build something instead of wasting our energy tearing each other apart. Thinking this; and knowing my students might be reading my article right now, the debate happening in my head wages on— Can I really pull this off?
*
Article Title: REMARKable
Dated: Friday, September 18th, 2020
“How can you differentiate yourself as a ‘Class Act’ in a world where most people are unconscious and unspecial?”
—from the book The Success Principles by Jack Canfield
Getting funding for this class wasn’t easy. It required patience. A lot of it. And being patient isn’t easy.
Trying my best to be patient, I researched. I read. I listened. I watched. I thought. I dreamt. With so many people vying for your attention, and so many worthy voices wanting to be heard, I had to accept that timing would be critical.
Realizing this, I wondered: How could I present something REMARKable?
At some point I made a list of what I thought got peoples’ attention most these days. Money, Power, and Sex were the top three things I wrote down on that little blue sticky note I wrote my list on.
Unfortunately, I had little money, no power, and understood that no one would want to see me naked. Last week’s article relied on the fifth best thing I wrote down on that blue sticky note: Humor. What was fourth on my list you might ask? Drama/conspiracy/mystery.
To make a real difference in this world would require people talking about this class on social media, and so I asked myself what might get “remarks” on those platforms. That’s what I meant when I asked how I could present something REMARKable.
But could I present something REMARKable without embarrassing myself?
In a world where people are doing more and more embarrassing things for attention, I was highly skeptical and wondered what desperate and dangerously stupid thing I might have to do to get people to notice me. Luckily, I was able to use writing to get people’s attention and so I never had to do any of those things I imagined…but I thought about it a lot.
If my attempt at humor to get your attention last week has failed, I need to do something here that might rope you back in. I’ve decided to tell you a secret about myself. A secret that will have each of you saying: “HOLY CRAP! ——Can you believe he just told us that?”
The secret I am about to share with you has made me feel alienated and uncomfortable with who I am. Someone literally called me an alien because of it once.
Friends that know this secret have teased me about it for as long as I can remember. It’s made me their punching bag in a way. Life has made me a punching bag for many other reasons however and I’ve learned to take those punches with a smile—it’s my gift I think.
With that said, I am now ready. I will now tell you my secret. Are you ready? … I guess we’ll find out. Okay. Here it is: “I am (blank).”
Sorry kiddos. I just can’t tell you that secret right now. It’s too dangerous. If you make it to the end of this class with me I promise I’ll fill in the blank at the end…maybe.
Drama/conspiracy/mystery— CHECK!
“What happens when the world abandons you?”
I was watching a movie with my kids that used this line to get their attention. I find myself annoyed with the words I hear being fed to them. My kids don’t get it. To them it’s just entertainment. Just like it was to me when I was a kid and just like it is to you now probably.
But it’s more than that. In a world of injustice, anger, and hate, words like those, knowingly or not, stoke fires that are dividing us.
“We have to go back to the past to understand,” that show then said to my boys, “to understand that the past is what changes the most.”
What is that line trying to say?
I’m really asking as I have no clue. Just because I’m your teacher here doesn’t mean I know everything. We are all lifelong learners as far as I’m concerned. You need to know that before continuing with me here.
I think maybe that line means our memories of the past change over time. Then again, it might just be some silly wannabee writer like me playing with words; trying to sound smart or interesting to get someone’s attention…I guess we’ll never know.
“We all suffer from desire.”
In many of those books I read while waiting to get that funding for this class, I would see something like this written in one form or another. I decided that this thing we humans call desire has many of us struggling with what I call: The Nostalgia For What Once Was.
Wanting things to be how they once were can become an obsession. And wishing for our past can become our life. Us addicts might know this better than most. How much money have we spent to feel like we once did?
Nostalgia is why a dad like me, confused by his kid’s video games, wants his old three button Nintendo back. Nostalgia is why I miss the old Il Fornos. That’s a restaurant my family goes to. It’s not closed, it only moved locations. Now me and my family miss the old place and its brick stove and open kitchen.
Nostalgia is why we watch old movies and why we keep seeing remakes and spinoffs of movies and shows once loved. Nostalgia is the invisible hand that fuels economies and perhaps the number one job producer on this planet today.
That’s a bloated statement. But I know what I’m talking about when it comes to this stuff…I think.
The Nostalgia For What Once Was fuels a lot of frustrated calls into the local sports radio station I listen to: The Sports Hub.
As New Englanders, Tom Brady made life seem magical for us for a long time, so hosts and callers like to squeak and squeal and shout about what quarterback might bring that magic back to us. But are we being realistic in our discussions, or are we being a tad bit delusional?
That word delusional is harsh, but tough love is necessary sometimes—Or so I’ve been told.
Identifying an anomaly in one’s life for what it is difficult. For different reasons to different people. Tom Brady was an anomaly the football world will forever remember put in a situation that made him an even greater outlier because of the coaches and players he played with. What his teams accomplished in the early 2000’s will forever have sports fans questioning what is possible.
But we can’t go back. The universe won’t allow it. Rather we must try and use those memories to keep us connected as we wait for the next anomaly being prepared for us.
For anyone that cares, I’m a Josh Allen and Buffalo Bills fan currently. I’m not loyal when it comes to sports teams. I’m a cheerleader of people who likes sharing. Saying that would have many Patriot fans booing me aggressively. Maybe I’m just strange in how I think, and how I feel… I’m rather certain I am.
I admire Josh Allen for what he does on the field but more for how he talks and treats people. Being that way must weigh on him. We fans are brutal these days. And I know it can’t be fun dealing with the media all the time. If Josh Allen doesn’t win, will the way we treat him turn him into another Bill Belichick?
My father looks like our Patriots coach Bill Belichick, but my father is way nicer. My brother works for NBCSports and says Bill is a lot nicer in person. Would more people be fans of Bill Belichick if he was nicer publicly, or is winning all that matters to us? (That will be part of your question for reflection in just a moment.)
We can look forward to the future in addition to looking back. Economies depend on us consumers doing that too. It’s just not as profitable these days.
When I was designing the curriculum for this class I wondered: Are we going to be a dumber civilization in the future or are we going to be a more intelligent civilization in the future?
I don’t think there is much debate about where humanity is headed if something doesn’t change soon. In his book Ready Player One, the author, Ernest Cline, writes from the perspective of the year 2045 and refers to humanity today as “rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic”.
What that author was creatively suggesting is the ship we are on now is sinking. I thought that was a nice way to describe our current reality.
To prevent this ship from sinking, I believe we must first learn how to laugh at ourselves and our behavior. I wrote that in our class objectives. In a world that takes itself so seriously, I knew that was a big ask, and so I sort of volunteered to be your captain here by writing that story for you last week: Your own personal 1% Pirate——ARGHHH!!!!
Now that you all know the truth…allow me to invite you onto my ship: “All aboard!”
WEEKLY QUESTION FOR REFLECTION:
In the 2013 movie Ender’s Game there is a line that says, “The way we win matters.” In your journals, please write what you think this statement means and answer the question: Is winning all that matters to you currently? Remember this is for you. Answer honestly.
The Teacher’s Playlist:
River of Dreams by Billy Joel
“I must be looking for something. Something I lost.”
*
(End of Chapter 5)
Click here to continue to next chapter…
Recovery High School 