“P.A.I.N. Through Anger” (Week 9)

These lessons are starting to get some peoples’ attention. After last week the students and I at school could not help but read what people were saying about us on our website; RecoveryHighSchool.com.

While there were messages of encouragement that I want to thank people for, there were others that simply infuriated me on a very personal level. Especially this one;

“Here we go, another Lib**** from Massachusetts spewing verbal diarrhea just so he can hear himself talk-you don’t know me Mr. H. Don’t miss your train! LMAO ”-Anonymous

When did we become so good at being so mean?

I have asked myself a lot of things in life. I have tried diligently to figure out what my purpose is. Throughout this process I have learned many things. I have learned to be quiet and ask questions when I wanted to yell. I have learned to be patient and stop when I wanted to run. I have learned to have faith when I didn’t believe in myself or anything else (what is faith anyway?).

But now here I am, in a place that is far too familiar to me, asking myself yet again, what is the point?

We live in very divided times. That is no secret. For that reason, I have done my best to keep these articles ‘apolitical.’ As careful as I have been, someone out there still finds in necessary to call me a name that is not only hurtful but completely insensitive. If you have never heard someone called this before then you have not been paying attention to what is happening in the United States (I’m not even going to comment on the train part).

While I believe there are issues to be discussed in the political arena I recognize that this is not the time or place for it. If I did talk about it, people would probably be surprised by what I think. I won’t go into details now, but let’s just say that my favorite hat hangs proudly on the wall and it is red; take that for what it’s worth Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous!

The comment reminded me that no matter how hard I try to make a positive impact in this world people doubt me and my intentions. Maybe they are right. Maybe I am a fake. Maybe what I say is just a bunch of ‘B.S’.

I’m sorry for being so negative, but this is what happens when I get angry.

Criticism is hard to take. I think we all know this. What people say about us hurts. Those that say they are immune to it are lying to themselves. We are all sensitive in certain areas of our life. “Pushing the right buttons” is what people call it.

Well, mission accomplished, good for you!

What can I do about it but vent my frustrations?

Well, here I go. No regrets!

In our world today everyone is talking, all the time. To me it feels like no one is listening to one another. I’m no better, look at what I’m doing with these ‘lessons.’

Let’s face it, we live in a time where most people would do anything for fame. Anything to escape the cage that is our lives. Anything to be heard, to be appreciated, to be recognized. Anything to get rich! The things we do is absolute Ridiculousness!

In a world this divided, this selfish, how did I expect to be a voice that could unite? Just writing that down makes me feel foolish now. People want to be entertained, not united.
It’s all so clear to me now.

Before I end this rant, I’m going to tell you a secret. A week ago there was a quote hanging on the wall in my classroom that read, “Don’t Give Up. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it!” It was there to motivate my students. But honestly, throughout my journey I have used it as a reminder for myself.

Well, after reading some of the negative responses to my last lesson I ripped this poster off my wall. Of course I am ashamed to tell you this. Thankfully my students have not asked me about where it went yet. However, my actions were out of anger and since that is the topic of this week’s article I figured telling you would be the best way to illustrate my point.

I like to think of myself as a strong person after everything I have been through, but sometimes I just do not know if any of it really helped me grow. Maybe I have more to learn? Maybe now is not my time? Maybe this world doesn’t need my ‘ideas’?

At this moment the intentions of all this seems pointless, who knows if I should even continue.

Thanks again Mr. or Mrs. ‘Anonymous.’ You have successfully brought me to that dark place where the anger inside me grows. It is times like these that I question what faith has to do with any of this. How can there be any purpose to feeling the way I do right now?

Maybe I will never know.

"Wondering Where I've Been?"- FourFiveSeconds by Rihanna, Kanye West, and Paul McCartney

Question Of The Day: 

In Your Life, Is Anger A Motivator?

Teacher’s Note: Our FaceBook page ‘Social Recovery 101’ now has 4,588 Followers (+5.6%) and 64 Page Shares (+0%). Remember, Y-O-U will change the future as U are more powerful than U realize!

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