“1% Pirate” (Week 3)

“Hey Joe, Memere went on Ancestry.com and found out that we are 70% French-Canadian, 29% American, and 1% Pirate.”

My dad was sitting on his recliner looking at his phone when he told me this. ‘Memere’ is what we call our grandmother who was born in Canada by the way. I apologize if you know this and the information seems overkill. But, as your teacher here, this is as good a time as any to tell you that I will make no assumptions about things you may or may not know. Please bare with me.

Interested by the information told to me by my father I walked up to my room. Ironically, I was in the middle of watching “Black Sails,” a ‘Stars’ series about pirates in the early 1700’s. In my opinion, the writers of the show did a phenomal job illistrating the ‘humane’ side of the pirate way of life. The desire of these men, and women, in the show to live a life where they were not governed by laws that they disagreed with really spoke to me.

In the midst of all the turmoil and conflict across the globe, I could relate to wanting to escape, find an island to myself, and create something that I could believe in (without all the killing of course).

Excited by my new found genealogy (that is your ancestors’ unique story and your family tree), I took my cellphone out and jumped on Facebook.

I clicked on ‘Add A New Post,’ and began to write.

“Happy Saturday Everyone! Very excited to tell you all that I found out today that I am 1% Pirate! ARGHHHH!”

To drive my point home I added a ‘GIF’ (that is an animated picture) of Johny Depp in his pirate disguise from his beloved Disney movies’, “Pirates Of The Carribean.”

I then went about my day. Checking my phone of course for peoples’ reactions.

One ‘like.’ A few more. A ‘LMAO’ face. Another laughing face. A little later an ‘OMG’ reaction was thrown into the mix. And then, my first ‘comment.’

“U serious bro?”

It was from someone I did not recognize. So I did some ‘investigating.’

A click here, a click there. I really couldn’t figure out who he was. He was very outspoken by looking at his posts. Very political. Had opinions about many things. Some things he wrote made me laugh, others made me cringe. This person was not shy about making his voice and his opinions known; totally opposite of me. But no pictures of himself. Damnit!

Not knowing who he was, I still had to respond. He was my ‘friend’ after all. I did not want to offend him. So, I carefully constructed a simple response.

“Ya man, Ancestry.com is the bomb!”

A few hours went bye and my post was losing steam. Not many more reactions, and no more comments. Just when I had stopped checking my phone every ten minutes, another ‘comment’ made my phone ‘ding.’

“Are u an idiot? Or is this a joke?”

Who was this guy?

I do my best not to become upset over what I see and hear on social media. In fact, I try to be as ‘uncontroversial’ as possible to avoid becoming emotionally invested. But this guy took my simple post and came back calling me an ‘idiot.’ My blood began to boil.

Maybe I’m misreading this, maybe I should give him one more chance I thought.

A little annoyed, I wrote a response back, “No joke. Legit found out that I am 1% Pirate today. Thought it was cool. No need to call me an idiot. Peace Bro ;0)!”

Then it began. He ‘shared’ my original post (this meant that his followers all saw it). Immediately after, comments starting blowing up my phone. A full out Facebook assault was underway, and I was at the center of the attack.

The hits came fast and furious.

“How stupid…a ‘Pirate!’ LMAO….some people should not be allowed to bread.”

“If Ancestry.com told you to jump off a bridge would you do it? LOL”

“Move back to Canada you moron!”

“I’m 1% Alien…you don’t see me posting that on Facebook. lol”

There were so many comments, I couldn’t believe it. As the day went on I could not help but read each one. After taking a closer look at the original intagonizers profile I realized that he had over ten-thousand followers. I could not recal when or how I had become his friend, but none of that mattered at this point. The social media monster had me in his grasp, and I was being eaten alive.

What could I do?

Nothing. A comment from me at that time would only fuel the fire.

I turned my phone off and went about the rest of my day. I still had yet to understand why everyone made such an issue of me saying that I was 1% pirate. Was it because proving you are one percent anything was just impossible to prove?

Who knew? Who cared?

Unfortunately, I did.

Feeling down, frustrated with people and their ability to be so hurtful, I went downstairs for supper. As hard as I tried not to think about it, I could not understand how my simple post from this morning had turned my day into such a miserable one.

Dinner was cooking. My mother and father were both working in the kitchen. As I walked in they were both laughing. Hoping for something to snap me out of my funk I asked, “What is so funny?”

“Memere had surgery yesterday,” she said stirring the pot on the stove.

Not understanding, I responed, “Yeah, so, what’s so funny about that?”

She then grabbed my dad’s phone off the counter. Punched a few buttons. And handed me the phone.

On the phone I saw my Memere. In the photo she was smiling, but something definitely stood out that I was not expecting. She was wearing a black eye-patch over her left eye. She had just had eye surgury the day before. I had completely forgot.

“One Percent Pirate.”


"You've been there, you understand."- Bless The Broken Road by Rascal Flats

Question Of The Day

Does ‘Social Media’ effect you emotionally?

Teacher’s Note: Our FaceBook page ‘Social Recovery 101’ now has 1,502 Followers (+32%) and 52 Page Shares (+18%). Remember, Y-O-U will change the future as U are more powerful than U realize!

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